How to Say "No" - the "Mi Da Gioia?" Test

My yoga teacher, who I practiced with when I lived in Switzerland, used to say we should ask ourselves three times if something gives us joy when we're trying to decide whether or not to do it. Our language was Italian - thus, "Mi Da Gioia?", or "Does it give me joy?" This is still how I say it to myself when I am trying to figure out if I want to do something.

The answer needs to come straight from the heart, and three responses of "yes!" in a row is a definite green light. If you get two out of three, I suggest re-phrasing or asking again with a different permutation on the situation in question. If you can't respond positively, reflecting on it is good.

My friend just asked me to do something I wasn't sure about. I wanted to support her, though, so it was hard to say "No." But the "Mi Da Gioia?" test kept coming out negative. Of course, she not being familiar with that criterion, I had to come up with a reason. It came to me while I was actually talking to her about it. We came to a solution that both of us felt comfortable with it, too. Soooo. . . pre-scripting isn't necessary when you want to say "No." Just do it directly, lovingly.