What makes it fun? The idea of injecting play into dating

One of the questions I ask within the eharmony "guided communication" rubric is "what do you think makes long-term relationships successful?" A common assertion from my potential datees is that communication is critical, and I believe this. Without it, what do you have but insane interaction?

But. . .what about fun? I have been on 2 or 3 dates per week since I started my quest, and, I am. . .a little bit worn out! Not that I haven't enjoyed the dates, or been stimulated by them, but. . they are very performative by nature, and performance is hard work! Particularly when the event centers around conversation and "getting to know each other." I want to be my best self for that person and show them a good time - this takes a lot of energy. It takes a lot of focus to listen deeply. These things are beautiful, and I couldn't do without them, but. . I need fun! A little levity.

I feel like there needs to be game you play in dating, banter, or even an actual game. Perhaps sex is just the default expression of this desire. Lila, meaning "play," or "sport," is one of the aspects of becoming a fully realized being. Without this divine ingredient (by which the universe was created, according to some traditions) any activity lacks life somehow, or authenticity.

PLAY - FUN - COMMUNICATION=LIFE - LOVE - COMMUNION