When I got on the bus this morning most seats were full. There were a few open ones, and I chose the one next to a young woman who had politely kept her bags on her lap to make room for someone.
She was reading, and, as I had a library book I need to return in my bag, I decided to read, too.
As we approached downtown, people filed off at the stops. I always feel an obligation to move when this happens, but I was comfortable. So, I stayed in that seat. More people got on as we approached campus.
Later, at mid-day, I was at the library. The line to get food was long and the cafe was crowded, but I need some refreshment so I stuck it out. Once I got my yogurt, I found that there were no open seats at the tables. I went into the lounge area and saw a place on the other end of a couch where a guy was sitting, so I sat there.
I am becoming less averse to proximity. Partly, it's because of my awareness that we are all alone in a crowd anyway. Allowing one's self to be physically close acknowledges this because there is no impulse to talk or connect, necessarily. There is an understanding of the need for space, and that's all. Coincidentally, I read these lines today:
"Let [the person] who cannot be alone beware of community. Let [the person] who is not in community beware of being alone." -Dietrich Bonhoeffer, quoted by Parker Palmer.
There's being with people, and then there's being with people. There's geographical distance, and then there's mental distance. Which one is more real, more powerful? I say the latter.
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