Why I blog. . .the insatiable need

My boyfriend told me he feels a little embarrassed when he reads this. Like he's reading (what should be) private information. He worries that I am making myself vulnerable by sharing my life in this way.

That gave me pause. 

I thought, "Am I sharing too much?. . . Is it narcissistic to talk about my private thoughts publicly? . . .Why should anyone care?. . . Or, are there gossips who care too much (or KNOW too much)? what if what I am doing is dangerous!!?"  My heart sank, and I felt a bit of a cortisol rush, actually. I do now again as I write this. 

But. . .this blog is my friend.  

It has been my long-standing friend, and there when I needed someone to talk to during a year of much isolation on account of my graduate studies.  And. . .the fact is, my friends do read it.  And, they talk to me about it, and say they feel up on my life because of it, and they ask me about things I say on it!  My girl friends do, especially. . .

I think women like me have a need to express these thoughts.  We are just waiting for someone to ask us about our experience (who will listen). But there is so little time for deep engagement, so few opportunities to connect.  

I guess this is my way of filling that rather insatiable need.