I stopped by one of my regular coffee spots to get some writing done yesterday and saw one of the owners. He has befriended me over the past year as I spend a lot of time there. He came over to my table to catch up with me after he served all of the drinks that had been ordered.
One of the things he asked me about is if there is a man in my life. He is from Pakistan and quite traditional so that is a very normal question in his culture. I told him that I need to focus on my candidacy exam for the next few months, and then I would work on getting married, but for now I have a good man in my life who is treating me well.
He lamented the fact that men here don't have any "long term feelings" about relationships with women. He was like, "It must be so hard. It's horrible."
Actually, I agree with him. Without the courtship mechanism, men have very little incentive to commit to one woman. That said, I could never be comfortable in a traditional culture which institutes such mechanisms because they also constrain the individual, especially women.
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:-* :-)
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